Thoughts
by xFearlesssmilex
Summary: Killian's thoughts during White Out 4x02, and a couple of missing scenes
1. Killian

**So, daniellm requested this and I thought it was such a good idea. I have also added a couple of missing scenes. Please note that this is unedited as well. Enjoy. xxx**

The first thing that came to Killian Jones' mind when he saw Emma Swan, stood in the moonlight, next to her father, David Nolan, was how beautiful she looked. The moonlight hit her face at the right angles, making Emma appear as though she was glowing, but Killian knew he had to keep his emotions intact, especially considering that her father was right beside her. Of course the comment about her being a fair-maiden, may have amused her, but he could see David with a small expression of disapproval, and he knew that there was a conversation on the horizon for him.

He couldn't help the happy thought that crossed his mind when David went back to the car, allowing for he and Emma to have a small quiet moment to themselves, though of course, he knew that he couldn't try anything too funny, as her father was only a couple of yards away, more than likely watching them like a hawk. The champagne comment to him had come natural. He knew that it was a hint to Emma, that he wanted a quiet moment, a 'date' as this realm called it. Emma had gone to answer him, and his hopes had gone up, and then she had spotted something in the ice, and moved away.

He didn't feel comfortable with the idea of Emma moving around on the sharp ice, but he didn't want to stop her, control her, or better yet, make her feel inferior to him as a sex, because he didn't want her moving around a dangerous environment. Of course, as soon as Emma had moved away from him, David had returned and attempted to start the conversation about Killian's intentions to his daughter. Killian could sense in his mind the entire time that David was thinking that Killian was only seeing Emma as a conquest, and once Emma have given him what he wanted, he would go, upholding his pirate reputation, but Killian was quick to reassure him. Killian had made it clear to David that he did not see his daughter as loot, and that Emma had as much say in the relationship and how they stood as he did, showing once again that being the man didn't matter.

Killian though secretly felt a little sad realizing that David couldn't remember the conversation they had in the past, where Killian had made clear that he would go to the end of the world for Emma, even time.

Of course, the next thing that went through his mind was the fact that Emma had disappeared from his sight for more than five minutes. He had quickly made his way on to the ice to see Emma talking to a woman dressed in blue, and out of fear of not knowing if the woman was dangerous, he had panicked and called to Emma, he and David both scaring the woman.

The next thing he knew, ice shards were shooting up from the ground and he watched as one clipped Emma on the head, knocking her down. He had then been thrown from the ice, landing next to David in some snow on the road, both glancing up to see that Emma and the woman were completely concealed in the cave. Stress began to go through his mind, as he continued to call for Emma, getting no response. David was frantically calling on the walkie talkie device, whilst he began to chip away at the ice with his hook, not making any progress.

He couldn't lose Emma. She would not become another person that he lost.

When Emma responded on the Walkie Talkie, he had gripped the black device for dear life, feeling nothing but relief to hear her voice. She was alive for now, and that was all he could focus on. When David had suggested that they go to see Gold, Killian didn't want to leave the cave, not wanting to stray too far from Emma if something went wrong. Very reluctantly, he had got in the Sheriff's car, and allowed for David to drive them to Gold's shop, in desperate hope that the Dark One could help them.

Only when they arrived, it was clear that the imp had no intention of doing that. Instead, he had made Killian's blood boil with anger with the thought of destroying Emma, exactly the way he had done with Milah. In that moment, if it hadn't been for David, he would have happily rammed his hook into the side of the imp's neck. When they had left the shop, he was hopeful again, at the fact that David knew how they could persuade Elsa to let Emma go. The term girlfriend though was confusing him, and he made note to ask Emma about it if she got out**,** no when she got out of the cave.

David had then driven them to Bo Peep's butcher shop, where they had managed to discover something of Anna's, Elsa's younger sister. And then, just as Killian had begun to believe that everything was going to be okay, Elsa's voice had come over the Walkie Talkie, saying that Emma was freezing to death, and the panic had surged up inside of him, and if he hadn't been around David, he could have probably let himself cry.

David had broken every road law in Storybrooke as he drove back towards the ice cave. Killian knew that it was his daughter in there, but every so often the prince would glance at him from the corner of his eyes, and Killian wouldn't lie, this only made him worry more. The image of Emma, blue and freezing death was born into his mind, and no matter how hard he tried to shake the image he couldn't. He did not know what he would do if he lost Emma.

As soon as David had stopped the car, they had both jumped out and ran to the ice cave. Another message came from Elsa, saying Emma was freezing and turning blue. Killian hadn't thought again and began to bash away at the ice with his hook, not making much of an impact, and David had stopped him again, before he began to engage in a conversation with Elsa, about Anna. Killian knew that his face would have been one of pure worry, but he didn't care. In that moment, he wasn't a pirate, he was a man who was so scared of losing his loved one.

Whatever David had said worked, because within twenty-seconds, the ice began to melt, leaving a circular hole in the wall, just big enough to allow for Emma to get out. Killian's mind had filled with relief and happiness when Elsa helped Emma to the hole. He had called her name twice, using her first name, as it was a serious situation. Once his hand clasped around her shoulder, pulling her through the hole, he could feel her frozen skin, and just as he thought to remove his jacket and wrap it around her, she had jumped in his arms, hers wrapping around him, whilst he did the same. He held her steady, asking if she was okay, only to be answered with a small nod. Killian didn't know how long Emma would have remained in his arms, if her legs hadn't given out. In a worried manner, he lifted Emma into his arms, holding her close for dear life, the only thing he cared about in that moment was that she was back in his arms, safe, and he would do anything not to put her in any more danger.

He had filed her into the backseat, climbing in beside her. His arms immediately caged around her, feeling her shiver. He noticed some form of blanket on the ground and he wrapped that around her as well, before going back to cradle Emma. She was quiet and he could hear her teeth chattering.

"You're okay Emma." He whispered.

Killian understood that Emma knew that, but Killian couldn't help but just want to assure her.

When they finally made it back to David's apartment, with Elsa in tow, David had opened the car door, and Killian quickly jumped out, sweeping Emma into his arms again, knowing that her legs would be too weak to walk by herself. David had immediately set a chair out when they entered the apartment. Killian had lowered Emma gently, whilst Elsa and Henry went to grab blankets, before wrapping them around. He smiled when her fingers laced through his, giving him a gentle squeeze to assure him that she was okay.

Killian half expected Emma to push him away, put her walls back up after her brief moment of weakness in the hug, but she didn't. Instead, she snuggled closer, and allowed his arm to stay around her. All he could think of in that moment was that he was glad she was okay. He didn't have the strength inside of him to lose another loved one, like he did with Milah and Liam. Emma was the glue that was holding him together, and the light that was stopping him from going dark again. Emma had been the reason for him giving up his revenge, she taught him he could love again and that there was always remaining goodness in people.

It took a couple of hours, but he didn't move from his kneeling position, despite his legs protesting. Emma was now warm in his arms, and she had shrugged off the blankets, and her jacket, but she didn't indicate him to move his arm. Instead, she had reached up with her right hand and linked their fingers together. Once again, he felt himself pressing his lips against her forehead, his nose nuzzling in her hair. She had scared him today, and now he needed comfort knowing she was okay, and the longer she stayed in his arms, the better he felt.

When Emma announced later that she and Elsa were heading back out to the wall to take it down, he had been worried. As soon as Emma had moved from his arms, he had felt empty, and he found that some of the earlier fear had entered his mind again. What happened if something went wrong again? Emma had sensed that something was off with him, and when Elsa exited the apartment, and everyone else had gone to their room, she simply reached out and gave him a simple touch.

The relief flooded back through him, and he gave her a soft look to which she returned.

"Are you going to be here when I get back?" She asked.

He nodded, and watched as she stepped into his arms. "I'm sorry."

His mind was telling him to say it was okay, but it really wasn't. She had put herself in danger, but he didn't have the heart to be annoyed at her. Instead, his arms came back around her, holding him tightly.

"As long as you want me to stay."

Emma and Elsa were gone for about an hour, and he could feel his mind worrying about whether something else had happened. He jumped up from Mary Margaret's sofa, as Emma entered, toeing off her boots. 

"Did it work?" His tone was worried. 

"She couldn't get it down." Emma answered, sitting down on the sofa, grabbing a blanket.

The worrying thoughts overtook his mind again, and he couldn't help but wonder whether something else had happened and that she was going to start freezing to death again. 

"Are you okay?"

Emma looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm just getting ready to go to sleep."

Killian gave her a questioning look, and watched as she opened at the couch so it formed a bed. Emma then went to linen cupboard, pulled out some covers, and began to make a bed. Killian watched as she then patted the space next to him. Slowly, he removed his leather coat and boots before joining her under the covers. Immediately, she snuggled right up against him, and happy thoughts went through his mind again.

She wasn't pushing him away at the moment, and that was all he needed to be comfortable. Emma knew what she had done and how she had hurt him, and this time, she was going to enjoy the quiet moment.

His arm went around her and he smiled when her head rested in the crook of his neck. Her warm breath tickling the skin. 

"Good night." She whispered.

He didn't say anything, but he tightened his grip on Emma.

His home was safe and that was all that mattered.


	2. Emma

_**This is clearly Emma's thoughts through White Out. I started writing his a little over a week ago, and have only just gotten around to finishing it. Please note, it is also unedited, and I will quickly edit it at a later date. I may in the future do the same the next episodes. But right now, I am still trying to recover from the date and that steamy kiss in this week's episode. Kudos to Jennifer and Colin for doing their job so amazingly well. **_

Emma knew she was shifting slightly when Killian appeared from the woods. Beside her, she knew that David was a little stiff, and possibly annoyed, that she had invited the pirate to tag along on their detective work. Emma didn't care though. He had three hundred years of tracking under his belt, and would be quite useful in these sorts of situations, in fact, he could be quite handy around the sheriff's station.

He simply sauntered over, referring to her as a "fair maiden in distress", and if he had said this to her only a year and a half ago, she would have been tempted to smack him around the face, but now, she could chuckle slightly and brush it off gently, without getting annoyed. And she found that she was shocked when Killian had figured out that the power-line which lay on the ground, was the reason for the loss of power. Emma found herself mentally noting that she would need to question how he could figure out something like that, especially considering that he still didn't understand what a car was.

It was these little moments where she could easily smile, knowing that he didn't mean it to be offensive in any way what-so-ever. Emma couldn't help the small jolt of happiness when David walked away to the car to answer a call. It gave her a few brief moments with Killian alone. And then, in his traditional manner, he sauntered towards her, and made a comment about champagne and ice buckets.

Emma found she was a little confused when he said that this was their second date. As far as she could remember, unless her memories had been altered, very unlikely of course, they hadn't even been on the first one. In her typical Emma manner, she had questioned him, and of course, according to him, their first date had been fighting the snow monster and the second was now the ice wall. Emma could feel her reply coming up, ready to tell Killian that they didn't count as dates, but she had seen something move by the ice wall. Instead, Emma told Killian to wait while she checked it out. As she examined the wall, her thoughts of Killian's speech about dates left her mind, and she was unaware that her father was now attempting to give Killian the speech about intentions and daughters.

The last thing Emma expected to happen would be to find a young, scared looking woman behind the wall. Easily being able to tell this, she had taken a gentle approach, and just as she was finally starting to get somewhere with Elsa, Killian and David had arrived, and of course with David's gun and Killian's hook on full display, they had startled the ice powered woman, and the last thing Emma could remember was Killian shouting her name in panic as she was knocked to the ground by ice shooting from the ground.

When she had opened her eyes and regained consciousness, she was trapped inside the ice cavern with Elsa, and it was freezing in there. Her mind then quickly wandered back to Killian and David and she wondered whether they were okay, and the worry set in the bottom of her stomach, though she would never admit or say anything. Though she didn't know it at the time, the pirate, in a panicked manner was chipping away at the ice with his hook, not making much of an impact in the strong ice.

Emma then found that she was having a small conversation, trying to convince Elsa to melt the ice wall. Emma began to shiver and as she pleaded with Emma, David's voice came through her black walkie talkie, once again startling Elsa, this time though she didn't unleash her ice powers. Elsa told her to reply, which she did, and instead of David's voice coming back, Killian's did. Warmth spread through her at the sound of his worried voice, and she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at brushing him off. In those three small words, "Emma, say again", she could tell that Killian was panicking, and it only made her want to get out of there faster. And then Elsa had gone on to threaten to freezing the entire town, and Emma froze, staring ahead. There was nothing she could do, and it annoyed her.

As time went on, Emma knew that Killian and David had gone to try and find Anna, she had attempted to use her magic to try and warm herself up without telling Elsa but it wasn't working. As time went on, Emma began to worry that she might not make it out of the cave. Somewhere in hers and Elsa's conversation, Emma began to feel drowsy and the sudden urge to sleep, not a good sign. As she lay there, tucked up in a ball, Elsa above her, trying to coax her into staying awake, Emma thought about her parents, Henry and of course Killian. She only wished that she had spent more time with her parents, and Henry, and that she didn't try to push Killian away like she had once done. If she was going to freeze to death, she knew that she would be going to her grave with the feeling of guilt welled up inside.

And then David had convinced Elsa to try and melt the ice, and she heard Henry's voice in her mind, telling her to believe, and as Elsa began to make a hole in the wall, Emma believed that she could survive the cold.

As soon as the hole in the wall appeared, her eyes landed on Killian and David, and the pirate's worried voice called out her name, as though it was a lifeline for him. The only thing she wanted right then, not even thinking about David, was to assure Killian that she was alright. Emma knew that she was the only thing left in this world that Killian had. The only two other people he had ever loved were gone, and Emma worried that if she was to join them, he would turn back to his dark side and revenge.

When David and Killian finally managed to pull her out of the ice cave, Emma had jumped into Killian's arms, wrapping hers around him, whilst he did the same to her. When he asked if she was okay, his tone was soft and breathless, as though he couldn't believe that she was there safe. Emma nodded against him, being so weak, she didn't have the voice to say anything. To assure him, her hand rested on the back of his head, her fingers splayed through his soft dark hair. Emma didn't know how long she would have stayed in his arms, basking in his heat if her legs hadn't given out.

Emma knew that if she had been in her right mind, she would have been embarrassed when she felt Killian swiftly lift her into his arms, as though he was scared of letting her go, but Emma knew it was really because she her legs were that numb, she couldn't walk. In a tentative manner, she rested her head against his chest as he carried her towards the Sheriff's car. She was still shivering, and the fact that she was allowing herself to be taken care of by this man, she knew that her walls were down, even if it was just for that evening.

Emma couldn't remember much of the drive back to Mary Margaret's and David's apartment, only that the heating in the car was on full blast, and that she was still clinging to the warmth that Killian's body offered her. His arm rubbed soft circles on her shoulders, and she could also recall David's eyes glancing back in the rear-view mirror every few seconds. Only he wasn't looking at his daughter, he was clearly making sure that the pirate wasn't trying any funny business.

When they had arrived back at the apartment, Killian had once again swept her up in his arms, before carrying her back into the apartment, and setting her down on a chair, whilst Elsa and David grabbed blankets.

She didn't let go of his hand, instead, she laced her fingers through his. This small gesture wasn't just to assure him, it was to assure herself that there was a man who cared for her very much. With all her failed romances, she felt hope as his grip tightened. As soon as she did this small action, the power came on and shock coursed through her again when Killian moved away, and grabbed a small space heater, before switching it on and settling it in front of her. She smiled at him, before turning to Henry, and apologizing about not being much help. Henry simply assured her everything was fine before he went to make her a hot chocolate with cinnamon.

As she slowly came round, she didn't move from Killian's embrace. Even when her mother returned home, even with Henry standing in the kitchen, and even when she talked to Elsa about her sister.

Even if she wasn't ready to admit it, she was home, and the man whose arm was currently around her shoulders, fingers rubbing soothing circles, was now a part of it.


End file.
